I think I am morally bankrupt
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
