im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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