garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
