wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
