if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
