Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Naked Twister starts at high noon
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
