Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
