I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We got so high we made milksteak
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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