Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
