Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
bring money and cleavage
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
