I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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