omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
and she was petting her beer can
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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