Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This house was built for laser tag.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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