it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
