Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
