It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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