I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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