shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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