i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
