Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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