it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
