I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
