Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Alive.
So much puke
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
