remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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