Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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