I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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