my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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