sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
