Porn is love you can see.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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