cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
