she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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