the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
