if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
