I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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