I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
