Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
