I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
my poor anus
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
