so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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