i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
