I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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