I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
