"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There are leaves in my underwear?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
