I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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