My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
