dude i'm inner monologue high
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
