it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
