so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
