You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
