That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
