You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
