so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He shit in the fireplace
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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